Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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