hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize