My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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