Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
