I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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