yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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