Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sorry about my life...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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