Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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