after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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