Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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