You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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