I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize