What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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