Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
