Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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