I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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