I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
