just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Randomize
