You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
