Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
