the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
