OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
