youre lurking in front of me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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