My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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