Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
