think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
