Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
