So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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