i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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