If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize