if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
