Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
my poor anus
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
