I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
