I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize