Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
