Pants 0. Shit 1.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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