Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
