i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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