We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
