Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
