He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
