return my video game
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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