32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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