We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
do nipples grow back?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
