nut hugger
i wish my penis had a tongue
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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