I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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