...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
