i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
