my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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