you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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