Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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