none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
