I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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