You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
