I just threw up on my dentist
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
