my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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