one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sorry about my life...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
