I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I had to cum in my sink.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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