how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
