just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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