Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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