where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Did I show you my penis last night?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
