Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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