Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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